Silent Wishes
by xXxGoldenFlowerxXx
Summary: Edward and Bella are building their lives together. With plenty of ups and downs, how will they cope with the sometimes serious problems faced? How will they manage when they are torn away from each other in the most unimaginable way? ... ALL HUMAN ...
1. Still Dreaming

**Disclaimer -- All characters are Stephenie Meyer's. The plot is my own.**

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**BPOV**

"Okay, see you later. Love you." I smiled as I finished the mobile call to Edward. Alice stood beside me, a small smirk lighting up her sprite-like features.  
"Now we can get on with shopping!" I sighed loudly. How could she be so obsessed with dragging around large bags all day, spending ridiculous sums of money? Alice just linked our arms and began dragging me along the endless aisles of one of her favourite clothes shops. I could tell we wouldn't just be stopping at this one.

My hands were laden down with the string handles of the shopping bags - just as I had predicted. Alice had her fair share too. Together we walked out of the building and into the parking section outside. Her elegant yellow Porsche stood out among the other vehicles making it extremely easy to locate. We stumbled along the pavement until we reached the car. Alice unlocked it and we piled the bags into the boot. "You go on that side," she said, motioning over to the passenger door.  
"Well, I wasn't expecting to drive," I laughed as I slipped into the leather seat. She pulled out of the parking space quickly and sped down the street.

I turned on the radio, searching through the stations. I stopped at a random channel, trying to decipher the mumble of words that boomed around the interior. Alice turned it off before I could reach my hand out to do the same, "You do realise why I brought you shopping with me?"  
"Nope. But knowing you and Edward, probably to annoy me."  
She laughed. "Well, I'm glad it's still a secret. I was nearly positive Emmett would have told everyone."  
"Told everyone what?"  
She shook her head. "Not saying until the time is right."  
I moaned. "Please?"  
"I'm not _that_ easy to persuade Bella."

We pulled up outside the place Edward and I called home. It was a relatively large sized house with wide and brightly lit rooms. We both fell in love with it the minute we went inside and neither of us regretted our decision to buy it.

As I climbed out, it surprised me to see Alice joining me, pulling out the bags from the boot. I helped her and started making my way up the paved path to the front door. I tried the handle but it was locked, "Strange, I thought Edward was supposed to be home."  
Alice shrugged, a glint of knowing in her eyes. I pulled out a spare key from my jacket pocket (with much difficulty) and fitted it into the lock. The door swung open almost immediately. I led the way to the kitchen and left the bags on the counter before making my way into the living room. There was nothing there to say that Edward had been home even when I had phoned earlier. I glanced around the room in search for any clues to where he might be. Then I noticed something lying on the mantle piece. It was a shred of paper, cursive handwriting covering the surface. I picked it up carefully and studied the words written, scowling as I reached the end.  
"Bella,  
When you get this, I'll be away with Jasper and Emmett sorting something important out. You'll be with Alice undoubtedly and I apologise for making you go with her shopping. I wish I was there to see your face!  
Rosalie will be joining you both soon.  
Love always,  
Edward"  
Perfect. Rosalie was coming too.

Alice skipped into the living room, arm in arm with Rose, just as Edward had promised. They were both wearing grins on their faces. It only meant one thing - dress up time. "You're coming with us!"  
I grimaced as they pulled me towards the main bedroom, the shopping bags already cluttering the bed. I sat down on a corner chair until they had chosen the perfect outfit. If it was anything like the last session, it would take up to four hours to choose one they both agreed on. I made myself comfortable and picked up a random book from the dressing table. I didn't even look at the cover, just opened it at a random interval.  
"Try this on." I was surprised at how quickly they had decided on something. They handed over a dark purple knee-length dress. The straps were a nearly transparent silk that shimmered slightly in the light. It split at the waist where a beautiful sheet of gossamer covered the purple fabric.  
"Wow." I couldn't help the words slip out of my mouth as I held it up against me. Rosalie and Alice smiled at each other.  
"Go try it on!"  
I stood up and walked into the en suite. As I zipped it closed, I knew that they wouldn't have to search for my perfect dress any more. It was definitely this one. I stepped back into the bedroom to the squeals of delight from Alice and 'I told you so' looks from Rose. "Thanks. It's really amazing. I love it." I admired my reflection in the mirror. I couldn't believe how lucky a fit it was. It couldn't be more suitable. "Why do I need such a beautiful dress anyway? Please, can someone tell me?"  
They glanced at each other before sternly shaking their heads. "I'll find out soon enough ..." I murmured.

No sooner had I gone into the living room again, had they pulled me back into the bedroom, "Where do you think you're going missus? You need your make-up and hair done."  
"I already put some on this morning," I complained.  
"Well, we're putting some on right now," Alice retorted.  
I crossed my arms childishly as they sat me down in front of the dressing table mirror.  
I waited obediently as they hovered over me, wiping powders and who knows what else, over my face. They then started pulling at my hair, putting clips in and twisting it. "Finished."  
I glanced at the reflection in the mirror. "That's not me," I gasped.  
"Certainly is." Rose sounded extremely pleased about her efforts. I could see Alice beaming beside her, clapping her hands wildly.  
I stared at the face looking back at me. My hair was pinned back into a stunning French pleat with two strands of my natural tresses curling down by my cheeks. My make-up was simple but showed my mascaraed eyes and glossed lips out amazingly. "I can't thank you both enough." I strained to keep my voice calm. "Big occasion then."  
"Well, you could say that."  
I grinned. "Where are we going?"  
"Don't you mean where are _you_ going?" Alice winked.  
I stood up to turn to them. "Thank you." I pulled them both into a hug.  
"We're stealing you at six." I nodded in response as I released them.

I nearly danced into the kitchen, searching in the fridge for something to eat. "No!" Alice and Rose nearly pounced on me as they panicked.  
"Don't eat a morsel. You'll be kicking yourself later if you do."  
"Oh ... Okay ..."  
I thought through all the possibilities of what could be going on as we sat on the leather sofa, watching television. My mind was far away from the beauty programme we were supposed to be watching. I heard the loud rapping of the front door just as the show ended. "I'll get it!" Alice leapt to her feet gracefully and darted along the hallway. I heard the familiar excited clapping of hands and squeals of delight. She raced back into the living room and pulled me to my feet. "Six o' clock and your ride is here."  
I glanced at the clock. It was indeed six. "But you said you were taking me."  
"I know. Change of plans." Her voice was trembling. I looked around the door frame nervously. Jasper and Emmett stood in matching black tuxedos. I gasped before stumbling to the main entrance. "You look lovely." I was surprised to hear that it was Jasper that was speaking.  
"Thanks."  
"What's going on?" There was no answer.  
Instead, Emmett strode down to an extremely showy black car and opened the back passenger door for me. I walked down the path and got inside. Jasper followed soon after.

I heard a faint ringing and Emmett drew his mobile out of his pocket.  
"Hello? Yeah, we've got her." He sighed. "No, we weren't late ... Okay ... Here she is."  
He handed the phone to me. "Hello?"  
"Bella -"  
"Edward! What on Earth is going on?!"

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_Quick note -- Just to say that I have only read and watched the film Twilight and not the other books. Please take time to understand that some of the details might not be correct. I'm trying my hardest and I hope the finished product will be worth it. :)_

**Ooh, what's happening? I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas.  
****Please read, review and recommend. These are the new three Rs!**

**Every review means the world to me, especially since this is my first FF.**

**-- xXxGoldenFlowerxXx**


	2. Clueless

**EPOV**

I dialled Emmett's number on my mobile so the digits shone up on the screen. I confirmed my choice of numbers and waited until he picked up. The rings faded into each other while I tapped my foot impatiently. My brother answered eventually, a bored tone in his voice, "Hello?"

"Emmett - it's me. Have you gone yet?"

"Yeah, we've got her."

"Were you late?"

He sighed in obvious exasperation. "No, we weren't late."

"Put her on the line."

"Okay ... Here she is."

It didn't take long for Bella's lyrics to float through the speaker. "Bella -" I started, but was immediately interrupted.

"Edward! What on Earth is going on?!"

I couldn't prevent myself from laughing at her tone. "Bella ... Bells, calm down."

It took me precious minutes to stop her from nearly exploding. Every second counted. "Listen. Emmett and Jasper will be dragging you away as I speak, but I need you to trust me."

**BPOV**

The gentle rumble of the engine starting disrupted our conversation for a few moments. I waited until the vehicle was in motion before continuing to put the phone to my ear. I only caught the last part of his sentence of needing to trust him. "Always," I promised.

"I'm afraid that they'll need to blindfold you before you can see the location."

"No!"

"You're right, I'm just joking." I could hear the laughter from the other side, wherever that place may be.

"Not fair." I tried sounding annoyed but without success. "I'm not going on a treasure hunt for you again. Why did you just disappear today without telling me?"

I could almost hear him tapping his nose. "All will be revealed." I heard scuffling and hushed talking.

"Edward, what's going on?"

"I've got to go now. I'll see you soon though, love."

"Edward! Tell me what's happening!"

The last I heard was a confirmation of some sort and then the line went dead.

I turned the mobile off, a puzzled expression trying at my features. "Here." I handed the electronic object back to Emmett who smirked when he saw my face.

"Almost there."

The thought made butterflies sweep through my insides. Where were we heading?  
I closed my eyes and placed my head against the cool glass. It soothed and helped me think straight. A party? No. Alice and Rose would have joined me in the car. It would have saved extra hastle. An important announcement? No. Surely Carlisle and Esme would have come round or phoned to say something earlier.  
By the time the car had stopped, the most I had come up with was an important and somewhat fancy dance. I desperately hoped it wasn't. My feet were about as coordinated as a drunk elephant's.

I peeked out of the window just as Jasper came out of the driver's side of the car. He opened the door for me, a faint smile painted on his lips. I nodded my thanks as I hesitantly stepped out. My mouth gaped as I saw the 'secret' place. I might as well have been Alice as my excitement overflowed. The two brothers escorted me inside the fanciest restaurant I had ever seen. As I passed the revolving doors, I could see an anxious but none-the-less handsome Edward waiting for me and I couldn't help a grin spread across my whole face.

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**Any ideas yet? ;)**

**I'd like to mention two people. Firstly, Hale.. for my first _ever_ review *dances* and secondly, twilight37 for the invaluable advice, encouragement and simple help that has brought me to put these chapters down for everyone to read.**

**Once again, read, review and recommend, people!**

**--xXxGoldenFlowerxXx**


	3. Candle Flame

**BPOV**

I walked up to him, escorted by Jasper and Emmett. I couldn't stop a colossal grin from spreading across my face and I looked down to stop my cheeks from burning crimson.

As I glanced up for one look, I couldn't help my feet from speeding up. When he was only a few metres away, I broke into a steady run and threw myself into his arms. He kissed the top of my head and I gazed into his eyes. They were sparkling as my favourite crooked smile graced his lips. I leaned up and kissed him on the lips before stepping back, "You look beautiful," he gasped as he spun me round. The blush I had tried to avoid tinted my cheeks but I kept the awful smile on my face.

"And you look dashing," I laughed, almost wanting to spin him round too. He pulled at the tuxedo jacket jokingly.

"You like it?"

"Most definitely."

I heard the two men leaving behind me and I swivelled on my heels to wave my appreciation to them. They didn't see me and I was about to turn back when I felt cupped hands cover my eyes gently, "Don't look." Edward's voice was a whisper right against my ear and I felt a shiver run down my spine.

I followed where he led and when the pressure on my face was relieved, I opened my eyes. At first, the room was too dark to see properly in. When I became accustomed to the dim light, I gasped. "Ho ... Wh ... See ..." The words wouldn't form into intellegable sentences so instead I leaned into Edward's strong body. He took me by the hand and pulled me to the centre of the room. There, underneath the dimmed lighting, stood a medium sized oak table with two beautifully carved chairs at either end. He took me to the nearest one and pulled it out for me. I sat down politely and he went to sit at his own side of the table. A waiter hurried along, in formal attire, to place our orders. I asked for mushroom ravioli - something familiar, and strangely enough, what I had ordered on my first date with Edward. Edward ordered something expensive and foreign sounding. The waiter nodded, lit a candle in the middle of the table, then scurried off.

"How romantic - a candlelit dinner for two." I smiled, watching the flame beam dark shadows on his perfect features. "Thank you."

He shook his head, reaching over to cradle my hands in his. "No thank _you_ Bella for coming. I have to say I was surprised you didn't suspect anything when Alice and Rose basically pounced on you to dress you up."

"I have to admit, I thought we were going to some sort of dance. Believe me - I wouldn't have forgiven you then! And I did feel a lot like some Barbie doll now that you mention it."

He laughed. "I'm not _that_ mean ... Well, they haven't changed their ways and I doubt they ever will."

"Agreed," I smirked.

We had barely finished our conversation when the waiter reappeared, the plates in his hands. "One mushroom ravioli for the lady ..."

"Thanks," I replied as he placed the dish in front of me, before going to the opposite side and giving Edward his.

"Enjoy your meals," he said with a forced smile and a flourish of his hand. He left us to eat our dinner in peace. I pierced a piece of the pasta with my given fork and put it in my mouth.

"Mine's delicious," I said after I had chewed and swallowed.

"Same here."

The rest of the meal passed in nearly complete silence with sometimes the odd smile and holding of hands.

"That was really, really good," I thanked the waiter as he cleaned up our plates. He smiled the same false smile again.

"I'll give your compliments to the chef." He raced off, exchanging knowing glances in Edward's direction. When he had completely disappeared, a stillness crept around the room. I could hear Edward clearing his throat.

"Bella, you know that I have, and always will, love you more than anything ... I've been meaning to ask you for some time now."

I watched in complete astounded silence as he slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out a dark navy, velvet box.

"Isabella Swan," he began as he opened the lid and got down on one knee beside me. "Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

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**Bet you weren't expecting _that!_**

**Ooh, what's she going to say?**

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	4. In the Perfect World

**BPOV**

I gasped, speechless. My whole body threatened to explode. Edward looked nervously up at me, not shifting his position. Tears stung the back of my eyes as I lay my eyes on the sparkling diamond engagement ring. I stood up and he followed my actions. I gazed into his bright jade eyes, not caring about the droplets that ran down my cheeks. "I'd love to …" I couldn't hold his intent gaze any longer and took in a deep, shaky breath. "But not right now."

**EPOV**

Four words. Who knew so little could crush so hard? My beautiful Bella didn't want to be my wife. The whole world seemed as if it would collapse on top of me. "Why?" was all I managed to murmur. She looked up at me with sad, glistening eyes, the deep shade drowned by the tears. The tears I caused.

"I'm not ready yet Edward. My life is on the brink of perfection."

"And marrying me would ruin that?" My voice was unsteady even with my concentration to keep it otherwise.

"No!" It seemed to upset her even more and fiercer drops rolled down her pale face. "I'm just … not ready for that sort of commitment." She placed an unsure hand on my arm. "I love you, but try to understand."

My mind wasn't working properly. I sat back down, contemplating her answer, staring into space. I did that last thing I thought I would do that night - put the velvet box back in my tuxedo jacket, ring still nestled inside.

**BPOV**

Some time during our ramblings he had taken a seat and replaced the engagement ring in his pocket. I slowly sat down too, brushing at my eyes with a cream napkin as discreetly as possible. The mascara and eyeliner came off in smudges of black. Rosalie and Alice hadn't even put waterproof makeup on me.

**EPOV**

I watched her hopelessly as she dried away her tears. I wanted to take her in my arms and explain that everything would be fine, that I didn't matter just so long as we were together. But I simply sat there. I wanted to reach and hold her hands in mine and explain that as long as she was healthy and living a happy life, I was satisfied too. But I simply watched as she got up and left the restaurant. She didn't even look back as she pulled out her mobile to call for a ride. I didn't run after her, didn't even walk over to see if she wanted to talk anything over.

I watched as only minutes later, Bella got into the car she had called for and went home.

I placed my head in my hands and massaged my temples. Something good would happen. Some excuse to see her would appear out of nowhere. And then I noticed. She had left her light, cotton coat around the back of her chair.

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**Firstly, I would like to apologise to my readers for the huge delay on getting this chapter up. It's such a small excuse for a chapter anyway, that I feel terrible for keeping anyone waiting for this. My reasons vary from a story I entered into a competition getting published, writing my own (hopefully!) novel to just having too much homework. I finished reading New Moon, Eclipse and already know what happens in Breaking Dawn, saw New Moon in the cinema for my birthday and have tried to improve my writing techniques. It's been keeping me busy certainly.**

**Big thanks to beckaboowriter, one of my all time favourite FanFiction writers for posting a review - very much appreciated!**

**Remember the three Rs everyone!**

**Oh, and don't eat me for what happens here. If my writing skills are up to it, everything should turn out better later on (_if the road on the way is a little bit bumpy_).**


	5. Instinct

**BPOV**

I phoned the first person that came to my mind, the person definitely to have been included in this, the one that I could explain this to, even with difficulty it was worth the shot. Charlie. He picked up the home phone on the second ring and began to congratulate me. I whimpered softly. "Dad, can you pick me up at the restaurant?"

"Bells, what's wrong?" I shook my head though I was the only one it made any difference to.

"I'll explain when you're here."

It took me a moment after he hung up for me to do the same.

Waiting in the cold breeze of the early evening was the hardest thing, knowing that Edward - _my Edward - _was waiting in the room behind me. I prayed silently that he would come outside but I was too scared to think what would happen if he did. Would I trust myself to stay and talk to him?

I didn't have to wait long before Charlie's police car stopped nearby. Exactly how long, I had no idea. Time seemed meaningless.

When I climbed inside and shut the door, he placed a hand on mine. "You okay?"

I nodded, keeping my eyes focused on my lap. "Let's just go home."

He rolled out of the parking area where I had arrived just hours before with Jasper and Emmett and began the drive to his and my younger self's house.

I watched the town blur past the car, people continuing with their average day's work. It didn't feel right; me torn from the inside out and them simply passing by as usual. It pushed the truth further into my mind. By closing my eyes, I could at least block it out.

When I opened them again, Charlie was sliding out of the driver seat. I took in a deep breath, forcing the air to circulate around my lungs and watched him walk up the path.

Hesitantly, I got out of the car too. At the noise of the door closing, he glanced over at me and smiled softly. It was the sort saved for occasions like this, when parents want to reassure you and explain that they are available to talk by a simple gesture.

"Dad, I'm … I'm just going to go upstairs."

The smile slowly faded as he nodded once and continued up the path to the front door, unlocking it and leaving it ajar for me.

-~.*.*.*.~-

My bedroom hadn't changed in the couple of years I had last inhabited it. Apart from the open windows, letting a cooling blast of air circulate the room, the place had been left as I wanted it to be. Even the battered copy of 'Wuthering Heights' had been kept upside down, open at the page I had last read, on the windowsill.

I sat awkwardly on the edge of the bed, looking out at the treetops. The forest shimmered with the golds and reds of the setting sun. It cast brilliant light through the room quite suddenly as the clouds let it emerge. I desperately wished I could bottle it, to save it for a day like today, when nothing seemed to be going right.

And then I remembered.

Just as quickly as I had placed his name in my head, it disappeared. But he was my light for so long before, when I had been abandoned. He was my strength when I had none and my laughter when all I could do was cry.

I scrambled to reach my bedside cabinet, pulling out papers and tattered books. When the bottom of the wooden drawer was visible, it was then that I saw what I was looking for. It matched the grain nearly perfectly, and if it hadn't been for the silver chain that linked it together, I would never have noticed.

A tiny carved figure sat forgotten for an unknown number of months, simply gathering dust.

As I picked it up in my hand and ran my finger along the indentures, I knew my sunlight, my warmth, my hope still existed.

"Jacob," I whispered, tightening my hand around the beautiful wolf that meant more to me than any average gift. Why it had lain lost for so long, I wasn't quite positive.

But immediately, I knew … He would not be lost from my life for any longer.

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**I haven't written on here in such a long time and I don't really have any excuse. With exams and the like, FanFiction was more at the back of my mind and I have to apologise for the delay. I hope you all enjoy this chapter though, and don't worry, we will hear of Edward again (if all goes to plan!). C:**

**I'd really appreciate the reviews now more than ever. What do you think of my writing techniques now? Have they at all improved? I'd especially like to know: what do you want/think will happen?**

**I'm amazed at my readers for putting up with such a poor excuse for a writer so know that you all mean the world to me!**

**- xXxGoldenFlowerxXx**


	6. Dial Tone

**BPOV**

As the last of the setting sun disappeared beyond the horizon, I paced the room's width, receiver in hand. I was battling within myself, too tempted to dial the house number I knew so well.

My fingers hovered over the numbers on the phone. I sucked in my breath and pressed them, in succession.

The dialling tone filled me with the idea of my chance of friendship with Jacob and the past memories of Edward. I winced at the thought of the name and tried to keep my mind on the monotone.

I counted how many seconds it took for the handset on the other line to be picked up.

It took all of nine.

"Hello?" The voice was too old to be Jacob's yet too young to Billy's. I stood, speechless, my throat dry, my mouth opening, closely reminiscent of a fish.

"Hello? This is the Black residence, Sam Uley speaking." I sighed, thankful of the unexpected turn.

"Sam," I croaked, clearing my throat so I could speak properly. I paused, wondering how to continue the sentence. How long had it been since I had last seen any of the Quileutes? I tried again. "Is Jacob there?"

Silence ensued on the other end, a piercing weight that pressed down on me. When he spoke again, he was hushed, a slowness creeping into his words. "Is that you Bella?" He was hesitant, completely unsure. Before I could even think of an answer, he rearranged his sentence. "Sorry, hang on, I'll go get him for you."

I heard the soft padding of footsteps, then the rustled exchange of the phone. I heard Sam speak in the distance, muffled, as if he had his hand over the speaker. "It's for you."

"Jacob speaking." His voice was light, unruffled and youthful. My breath caught in my chest and I felt myself beginning to shake. If I thought I was speechless talking to Sam, it was nothing compared to this. I mentally scolded myself for calling.

"Hellooo?" He stretched out the last syllable. I could imagine his raised eyebrow as he glanced up at Sam.

"There's no one there," I heard him conclude. Sam contradicted him.

Quite suddenly, there was a knock on my door and Charlie walked into my room, a mug clutched in his hands. "Bella, hot choc-," he started, before noticing the look on my face and the phone receiver clutched in my hand. "Oh, sorry," he whispered, placing the mug on my bedside table and leaving the room again.

"Bella?" Jacob's voice was hushed, a whisper carried along on butterfly wings. "Bella, is that you?"

I pressed my fingers against the bridge of my nose, holding my breath. I wanted to hear the sound of his voice, but not like this.

"Please Bells, if it's you, talk." He sounded truly desperate …

I lowered the phone and pressed the 'end call' button, my hand shaking noticeably. I stumbled down the stairs and replaced it in its holder. Images of Jacob on the other line, a look of anxiousness clouding his usually calm features, flashed through my mind.

The phone rang loudly beside me, making me jump back in response. Charlie glanced up at me, and when realising that I wasn't going to pick it up, went to collect it himself.

"Hello?" My heart rate hitched. "Yeah, I'm working on it as we speak." My breath came out in a torrent though I hadn't realise I had been holding it in.

Charlie wandered back to the living room. "I know, I don't understand either." I lost track of his voice after that, too preoccupied to care about what was happening at the station.

I gripped the counter with both hands, my knuckles growing white. I lowered my head, letting my hair fall over my face.

I had decided. Some way, I had to see him. I owed him that much.

* * *

**So, I'm sorry about how short that chapter was, but wasn't it worth it? Gosh, and she hasn't even _seen_ him yet ... **

**I've got big plans for my fellow minion (a.k.a. Edward), so stay tuned.**

**Remember, your new three Rs! Read, Review and Recommend, people. It means so much knowing that you care enough to read this and a comment makes all of this work so much more worthwhile. A shout out to the people that put this story on their alert list, it means the world to me.**

**Until next time,**

**- xXxGoldenFlowerxXx**


	7. Shadows

When Charlie finished his phone call, I explained where I was wanting to go. My truck was still at our house which was a good fifteen minutes drive away. I just needed to go there to pick it up. Even after the fancy cars Edward had offered me and had even given me on my birthday, I loved my weathered truck. It was a rather stupid, sentimental attachment, but it mattered to me.

As Charlie picked up the keys to the cruiser, I couldn't help a pang of anxiousness run through me. What if he was at the house? Wouldn't that be the first place he'd expect me to go?

I got in the passenger side of the car, keeping my eyes firmly locked ahead on the horizon. We were on the main road in no time, strictly within in the speed limit of course.

I tried counting the lamp posts, the lines on the road, the number of stars appearing in the dusky sky, anything to keep my thoughts from straying. I wasn't going home to be persuaded to stay just for the night. A night would turn into another day, and that would turn into a week. Before I could blink, I would be with him again, wondering what would have happened if I had waited for just a little longer to think things through …

But I would be happy, right? That's what I wanted for myself, surely.

I fiddled with my fingers, brow furrowed. "You alright Bells?" I glanced up at Charlie. He looked genuinely concerned. Possibly more than he had when he picked me up.

"Yeah, I'm fine dad." I bit my lip to stop my foolish ideas from slipping out of my mouth. _I had to see Jacob first. _"Dad," I started, then paused as he nodded. "Do you think …" I tried to organise my sentences in a structured and normal way. What I wanted to say was 'do you think Jacob hates me now, after everything I've done to him?' but I stopped myself. Instead, I swallowed and continued. "Do you think Jacob would mind me just dropping by? I haven't seen him in so long."

I watched his expression change, barely noticeably, but it was obviously in a relieved and pleased sort of way. "No, I don't think he'd mind at all. In fact, I think he would really love your company. Is that where you're planning on going?"

"Well, I'm going to pick up the truck and head over, yeah."

He nodded again, approvingly. The cocoons in my stomach erupted into butterflies.

"I'm glad to have you back, for however short a time."

I tried to smile, to prove that I was stronger than I knew myself to be. "I'm glad to be back," I whispered. Whether I said it to acknowledge Charlie or to persuade myself, I wasn't quite sure.

***The familiar gravel driveway was visible through the thick layer of trees. Charlie took the car up the majority of the way.

He froze in the same instant that I did.

There, parked further up, was another car. A car that hadn't been there when I came home to change my outfit earlier. My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't seem to be able to blink. "Bella, if you want, I can come -.""Dad, it's fine," I said, barely audibly even with the key out of the ignition and the engine switched off.

I got out of the car, closing the door behind me with as soft a _thump_ as I could manage. I sucked in my breath as I walked along the gravel, the stones crunching under each footstep. It made it all the more reassuring, knowing that I was travelling forward, but also making the situation much more real than I would have liked.

All too soon, the doorway loomed in front of me. I twisted the handle and to my amazement, the door creaked open slightly. I hadn't left it unlocked, surely. _But I wasn't the last person out of the house. I barely had time to close it behind me when I was whisked away by Jasper and Emmett._

It was completely dark inside, I realised, as I opened the door further. There was no reason to be afraid, it was only Edward after all. _Why then, was my heart in my throat and my head spinning?_

I entered the hall, closing the door behind me as quietly as I could. The silence pressed on me like a giant anchor, weighing me to the ground. The darkness enveloped my senses in ideas that would be ridiculous in daylight … And the constant feeling of being watched.

I ran my hand along the wall for the light switch, then hesitated. I didn't want any memories to deal with on top of everything. I lowered my arm and continued through to the living room.

I picked up the car keys from the coffee table in the centre. Turning around, I was about to leave, when something caught my attention.

A shadow in the corner of the room, too dark to be many items, panicked me slightly. I studied it for a moment, trying to understand the contours in relation to the sofa. Shrugging, I continued my way out the door, when I heard something rustling behind me …

I wheeled around on my heels … To find that nothing had been altered or moved.

My heart hammered in my chest. I swallowed loudly.

I felt something trace my arm and I instinctively screamed. Vaguely, I heard, "Please don't yell!" and "it's me!", but I couldn't bear to turn round and see the person.

I heard Charlie's voice in the distance. "Bella! I'm coming!"

I squeezed my eyes shut.

The person spoke again, and the voice was almost recognisable through the buzzing sound in my ears. It was light, happier than it should have been. "So you've sent the police on me now?" It was accompanied by a light tinkling laugh.

_I knew that voice._

Just as I turned around to face them, Charlie flipped on the living room lights and all three of us were able to see each other clearly. My dad was the first to speak. "Bella, are you alright? I thought I heard you screaming.""You did," I squeaked.

Then, the person opposite me spoke. "I'm really sorry Mr Swan if I alarmed you or Bella. I was just coming to see if she was okay and I think I freaked her out a little."Charlie nodded. "It's fine. Just as long as nobody's hurt."

"Dad, you can go back home if you want. I've got the truck from here." I tried to keep my voice level.

He nodded once then turned away and left the house.

I looked at the petite, pixie-like girl that had her hand still on my arm. A expression of genuine concern lit her sparkling eyes, a slight pout on her lips. She looked completely and utterly depressed. So very unlike Alice.

"I'm fine," I said automatically, staring down at the ground.

She lifted my chin so I couldn't help but look at her. "Bella, you're obviously not." She hugged me tightly, releasing me with a sprightly skip backward.

I tried to smile, once again to prove that I was stronger than I knew I was. "I'll make it through."

"I can at least offer my assistance." The smirk that graced her lips was more like the Alice that I knew. "And that means, starting tomorrow, I am taking you for some retail therapy and some girly nights in."

"Sounds fun." We both knew how big a lie that was on my part and ended up laughing. "So why are you in my house anyway?"She pulled an expression of mock horror. "You think I would lie to _Chief_ _Swan_? I actually _did_ come to see if you were okay. I thought this would be the best place to start, and when the door was open, I just let myself in."

"Alice in a break and entry, well I never …"

She smiled. "Why do you need your car keys?"

"I'm going down to La Push." I knew this would evoke a disheartened and probably frustrated response, but I was surprised in the way Alice portrayed it.

She simply sighed, and shrugged. "I can hardly stop you, just please don't do anything you'll regret later. If not for Edward, then for my sake."

I was the one that hugged her this time. "Don't worry; they'd have to hold me at gunpoint before I'd do anything to hurt you Alice.""Well, I certainly hope they don't hold you at gunpoint then!"

We both laughed, and I made my way to the front door. "I'm sorry if I've upset your family. It's just … not the right time."

"Don't worry about us, we're getting along fine. Make yourself the priority right now."

I nodded my thanks. "I'll see you later then." She nodded back.

It felt so wrong to be just leaving Alice there. I turned to explain that she could stay the night if she wanted to, but she was already gone.

I left the house and got into my truck, turning the keys in the ignition. The engine jumped into life with a deafening roar; the best sound an engine can make when it starts, however loudly. I backed out of the driveway and began my journey to La Push. And for some bizarre reason, I couldn't stop smiling.

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**You lucky people, getting an extra chapter that I wasn't planning on posting until later.**

**I made this one quite a bit longer, because so far all the chapters have been ridiculously short - sorry! :C**

**So once again, please take into account how much these reviews and alerts mean to me, and remember your three Rs. /hugs**

**- xXxGoldenFlowerxXx**


	8. Paintings

I watched the torrential rain that had quite suddenly fallen from the sky. It was coming in slanting sheets, bouncing off the tarmac. I squinted through the windscreen wipers, peering at the road ahead.

I could vaguely make out the reservation in the near distance. The cabins were just visible as extremely dark shadows and it didn't help that the trees were obscuring them either. I turned on the radio to distract myself momentarily. I quickly changed the piano ballad that drifted out of the speakers to something more … unique. I could barely make out the lyrics. That was always a start. I concentrated on trying to decipher them as I turned the bend to La Push.

I counted the houses as I passed them, thankful that the majority of the places had a light or two turned on.

It didn't take me long to recognise the one that belonged to the Blacks. Three rooms were lit in a warm amber glow, movement obvious from indoors. The garage door was open, repaired motorbikes and a car in the middle of being fixed sheltered inside.

I was careful not to make my appearance too obvious; I didn't want to simply barge in like some damsel in distress. I kept my fingers crossed that he wouldn't mind seeing me again in this way.

I bit my lip as I switched the engine off, happily cutting the lyrics of the song short. And I sat. I let the rain blur the windscreen, watching the patterns trickle down the glass, before I unfastened my seatbelt. It was then that I realised I hadn't managed to change out of my dress. This was going to look pretty ironic, like one of the scenes in 'Hamlet' when Ophelia goes mad.

I looked into the foot well of the passenger side and to my annoyance, I realised I had taken my waterproof out of the car. Typical, just when I needed it most.

I hesitated, wondering if I should just head back … I hoped the rain would subside very soon.

I turned the engine back on so I could warm up the car with the air conditioning. The blast was refreshing and welcoming, but it fogged up the windows.

With nothing better to do for the moment, I leaned over the steering wheel, to the windscreen, and like a child, began doodling absentmindedly on the steam.

I drew a small heart, small enough to fit in with all of my other, not so great drawings. I admitted to myself, slightly embarrassed, and glad that no one was watching, that it was a good way to pass the time.

Just when I was about to finish off my artistic interpretation, I noticed a slight shift in movement just where I had drawn my tiny heart. I stared at the spot, trying to see anything through the sheet of rain. I wiped my drawings off with the back of hand quickly, to attempt to see more clearly. Nothing else happened as I sat still.

I leaned back into the seat, preparing myself to make a bolt for the front door, when I could have sworn the handle beside me shifted slightly.

I squeezed my eyes shut, pressing my finger and thumb into the bridge of my nose.

A cold blast of air flooded through the interior of the car, completely washing out the warmth of the heater. I gasped, more to the shock of the plummeting temperature than anything else, and quickly opened my eyes again.

There, standing with rain streaking down his skin, his dark eyes wide, stood the person I came to see. It was hard to look away now. We both paused, considering each other. I could feel the rain beginning to soak through my dress and bead its way through my hair.

Jacob's rather shocked expression faded into a small smile that soon lit up his whole face. He grabbed my hand and I stumbled out of the truck, managing to grab the keys before elbowing the door shut behind me. We both ran through the rain, heading to the house.

It didn't even take us till the door for my hair become plastered to my face, completely drenched, and my dress to look more like something out of 'The Little Mermaid' than a Vogue magazine.

My teeth were chattering when he threw open the front door and pulled me into the hallway. The musky smell of the forest was dominant, but it felt almost warm - welcoming.

Jacob didn't even shut it behind him before he enveloped me in a tight embrace. I hugged him back, thankful to have the support before my head started spinning. When he eventually let me go, I felt light headed. My feet felt disconnected to my body.

The last thing I remembered was a buzzing in my ears, somebody speaking in muffled tones and darkness tucking me into bed …

* * *

**Yep, so for now Bella is completely out of it. Fun, huh? xD**

**It won't hurt if I remind you all that _Edward is going to make a comeback_. So for those people who are a little unsure about where this is heading, hang in there. I'm giving healthy doses of both Jacob and Edward, so with my fingers crossed, no one is disappointed. Hopefully(!), this will go as planned. (So long as you all ignore my awful writing and grammar. I love you all just for putting up with that. :3)**

**The next chapter to should be fun to write.**

**Once again, read, review and recommend people. It truly means so much to me if you could help me along a little. Encouragement, critique and even ideas are all highly appreciated.**

**Until next time,**

**- xXxGoldenFlowerxXx**


	9. Without

**BPOV**

Sound was the first thing that I was aware of. I could hear familiar, warm voices around me, directing their words to each other. I searched through them for one.

Somewhere in the near distance I heard his voice. It filled me with unfulfilled hope; a sort that shouldn't exist when I was simply looking for support. He was searching for something to keep me warm - a quilt, or similar.

Another person spoke closer by me, at my feet, someone with more knowledge in their tone and lyrics. I didn't want to open my eyes, to interrupt their conversation. Instead, I focused on what they were saying.

"Dad," Jacob asked, his tone surprisingly shaken. He sounded more like a child, vulnerable and needing guidance. "She's going to be okay, right?""Don't worry about her." I could feel both of their gazes fixed on me. "She needs rest. I called Charlie to explain …" He trailed off, and I felt my heart stutter. I prayed that Charlie hadn't said anything about the few hours before. I had to tell Jacob myself. It took a minute for Billy to continue. "She's been through a lot, he was saying."

I cringed, quickly hoping they wouldn't notice any change in my expression.

The conversation halted before Jacob spoke up. I could imagine the tense look that would accompany his sentence; his eyebrows would be furrowed, his eyes dark and searching, jaw clenched. "What do you mean, 'been through a lot'?"

"You didn't even think why she might be wearing such formal attire?" The room fell into another silence, though it lingered in the air, heavy and prolonged. "You should get her that blanket, she's shivering."

I hadn't realised that my arms were shaking until Billy had pointed it out. It felt as if there was a cold breeze in the room, hugging me tightly. I tried to press the thought out of my mind and picture instead the warmth that was quite suddenly pushing it away.

"She'll appreciate that when she wakes up."

"I know." Jacob's voice was alarmingly close, directly above me. I snuggled closer to the warmth, feeling the duvet cover on the back of my hands and under my chin. It felt so reassuring.

"I'm going to head to bed."

"Okay." He had moved too far away for my liking. "I think I'm going to camp out here, to be sure in case she wakes up late."

"I'll see you in the morning then. Sweet dreams."

I heard light laughter, a brilliantly gleeful noise. "You too dad."

The door closed very softly. And then there was silence again.

I heard him shifting around the room as if wandering aimlessly. I opened one eye with a small a viewing space as possible.

The light in the room was duller than I had imagined, much less artificial and more earthly feeling. It warmed my senses with its soft amber glow.

Lying on the sofa closer to my feet, Jacob was on his back, staring at the ceiling. I watched the systematic rise and fall of his chest, matching my nervous breathing to his calm. I shifted to get a better view.

The movement was too obvious. He glanced over at me. "Bella?" His eyes were wide and he was beside me in an instant, crouching by my head. I slowly opened both of my eyes.

Jacob sighed and smiled weakly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "How are you feeling?" His deep eyes searched mine for the truth.

"Fine," I croaked. I swallowed, my mouth and throat scratchy, to attempt to repeat myself more clearly.

He placed a finger across my lips. "Ssh, don't try and speak now. You need your beauty sleep. Charlie knows you're here and you can rest for as long as you like. I'm staying with you … I'm not going to leave."

I ran my hand along his jaw line, trying to memorise every tiny feature. He closed his eyes against my touch and sighed again. I retraced the same line, from his ear to his chin, over and over. Only when he held his hand against mine did I let mine slowly recline to my side. "I'm not going to leave," he repeated with more determined force. "I'm still here for you."

I watched as sadness spilled into his eyes, making them lose their wistful twinkle. I watched as his hand hovered over mine for a moment as he finally decided not to take it in his. I watched as he stood to his full height, glancing at me only once more with an expression so torn that it broke my heart in two. I watched as he stretched across the sofa once more, back turned to me.

I felt the back of my eyes begin to sting and my vision blur. I bit my lip to stop the moisture from turning me into a blubbering wreck. It only made matters worse and I felt the first tear run down my cheek and onto my lips. The salty taste burned my tongue.

'_Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry …' _I repeated to myself hopelessly. As another tear streaked down my face, a soft sob wracked my body. I squeezed my eyes shut and pulled the duvet practically over my head. I let the lack of light attempt to calm me. Another cry shook me through.

I kept my breathing as even as I could manage when I heard footsteps padding across from the other side of the room. Arms pulled me into their vice grip, keeping me secure. "I'm so sorry Bells if I upset you. I heard today was hard for you. Please don't cry."

I pulled the covers away from me and turned to face him. I sniffled as he dried my tears with his thumb. "Hey, hey, we don't need anyone upset in this house." Jacob smiled comfortingly and I tried to do the same in return. I thought it turned out more like a grimace.

"Do you want to talk about what happened tonight?" He was sincere, not forcing me to give anything away.

I shook my head immediately, the thought of his perfect features, his crooked smile that lit up my world in an unexplainable way, still too difficult to think about.

Jacob pulled me closer. I placed my forehead against his chest, letting my tears flow freely. "Thanks," I whispered quietly.

"You have no reason to thank me. I'm the one that should be happy that you turned up. You really made my day."

I glanced up at him. He was gazing down at me with the same wide smile still painted on his lips. Surely me turning up, a complete wreck, tortured to the point of collapsing on his doorstep, wasn't his idea of making his day complete. Yet he looked genuinely content, more perfect than I gave him credit for.

He pulled me onto his lap, cradling me like an infant. He brushed back my tousled hair. "I'm always here for you. When you feel the need to talk, I'll be waiting in the sidelines."

I buried my face into his chest again. I knew that he was telling the truth, I just didn't know how well I could believe it. So simply, I nodded.

**EPOV**

I had to see her. No matter how long it took me, I had to make sure that she was okay. Because I certainly wasn't …

The world seemed empty without her smile. The stars seemed dark without her twinkling eyes. My life was incomplete without her. Full stop.

Her light, cotton jacket was lying in the passenger seat beside me, limp. It should have been _her_ sitting in that seat. We would be holding hands, stupid smiles stuck on our faces not just because we _could_, but because we had the best reason in the world to.

"Don't," I told myself firmly in the darkness, washing away the beautiful picture.

I pulled into a lay-by, barely noticeable in the dim light, and turned the engine off. I sat in the darkness, listening to my own breathing. I squeezed my eyes shut and crossed my arms over the steering wheel, resting my forehead on my arms. I needed some time to think before I went to Charlie's house. If I arrived and she was there, how would I explain myself? How would I cope with seeing her quite suddenly all over again?

So I decided. I would leave it until we were both able to cope, after a good night's rest. Hopefully, we'd both be more awake in the morning.

_I would only have to wait another seven hours before seeing her again._

There was a distant glow of headlights but it didn't matter to me. The vehicle would be too far away.

_I had plenty of time to turn around._

* * *

**I'm excited myself about writing the next chapter! What do you think will happen?**

**Unfortunately, I'm not sure how much longer this story is going to continue for ... :C **

**I'm aiming for at least five more chapters before I even _consider_ wrapping this up. If anyone has any complaints concerning this, please write either in a review or to me and I'll try my best to somehow reorganise the plotline to make it last that little bit longer.**

**If five people write a review for any of my current chapters, I will put up a sneak peek for you all. I swear, I personally think it'll be worth it. I'm going to try and make the next chapter keep you on the edge of your seat!**

**I hope you all have an amazing day.**

**Love,**

**xXxGoldenFlowerxXx**


	10. Grey

**BPOV**

There was a mellow ringing somewhere in the distance. My mind refused to comprehend where from and I was satisfied to leave it at that. Unconsciousness was gently washing me back into a dream state when someone shifted from the opposite side of the room, dragging me back into painful reality. I rubbed my eyes drowsily, opening them a crack to the dark. "Go back to sleep Bella," whispered a voice. Though unexpected, the person reassured me. I nodded, pointless to anyone because of the lack of light, and shut my eyes once more. I heard footsteps pad along the hall floor until the ringing ceased.

"Hello?" It dawned on me who's voice it was, where I was lying and what I was doing here. I rolled onto my side and ashamedly, listened. "Everyone's asleep. She needs a good night's rest … No …" There was a prolonged silence. I could hear the voice on the other end of the line was panicked. In the dim light, I could make out Jacob's silhouette. His arm was clasped around the back of his neck, the phone in his other hand. "I understand … And he's stable?" Another pause. "Of course, I'll get her right away."

A sense of urgency twisted my stomach. Something wasn't right. I knew that phone call was for me.

Jacob strode back into the room and straight over to me. "Bells, I need you to get up."

I didn't need to be told twice. Panic laced my voice as I sat upright. "What happened?"

He helped me to my feet as I darted to the landline. I picked up the receiver, my hand shaking. "Hello?"

"Bella," the voice on the other line sounded agitated but hinting relief. Alice. "I'm so glad I found you. I need you to come to the hospital straight away."

My heart stopped beating and my throat became scratchy.

"Who's hurt?" I managed to whisper.

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**All I can say is: don't eat me!**

**xXxGoldenFlowerxXx**

**As always, reviews appreciated and I'll try and bring the next chapter out soonish!**


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